Sunday, May 21, 2006

Good progress...

Currently listening to: Basement Jaxx

Just one kiss will make it better
Just one kiss, and we'll be flying high...

It was a good dating weekend for brunette babe - hallelujah!

Friday night I met up with Rex, who's a guy I've been exchanging emails with pretty much since I first signed up online, so well over a month now.

I wasn't sure about how this one would go. My impression of him via email was that he's quite reserved. His emails were slightly formal, he'd sign off with 'regards, Rex' which, I don't know, just felt more professional than personal. And the fact that we'd been emailing for ages and he still hadn't asked me out struck me as odd.

He called me once a couple of weeks back and we had a brief, slightly stilted conversation during which he still didn't ask me out. The next day though he emailed saying it was nice to talk to me, and that he hoped he hadn't sounded as nervous as he was. I thought that was kind of cute, so a couple of emails later I signed off with a playful "so are you EVER going to ask me out...". Time to meet and move on one way or another.

And so, on Friday night, I met him at a cafe after work. We had a pleasant time talking over drinks and a mezze platter and I was pleased with how it went. It was quite relaxed and while I didn't feel immediately attracted to him in that "oh my God I wish he'd touch me" kind of way, I could see the potential for him to grow on me. We said goodbye with a kiss on the cheek and I went home quite content.

The next day, I got a lovely email from him. He said it was really nice to meet me and that I lived up to what I wrote about myself on my profile, that he thinks I am indeed smart, cute and funny (yup, I'm really humble about myself in my profile ;). He also attached a photo of his cat he'd told me about, who he rescued as a wild kitten. You gotta love a man that cares about animals so that was a nice touch. But most of all I found it generous of him to give some good affirmation so soon after our date that he liked me - you always wonder how you came across and what people thought, so it's a relief to know right from the outset.

However, probably unfortunately for Rex, my mind has been mostly on Matt, he of the fun impromptu date last Thursday (and who had illicited a bit of an "oh my God I wish he'd touch me" reaction from me).

Our first date had been really enjoyable for me, plus I'd fancied him which is always a good sign - but since then, I hadn't heard from him and I wanted to.

I started to worry that I'd gone about things the wrong way and made things too easy for him. You see, I went to the library recently and loaded myself up with books on relationships and dating - I figure a little advice could only help in the process. And one of the books I got was The Rules for Online Dating
, written by the same women that wrote the original book The Rules.

Now, to be sure there's a good part of me that thinks their 'play hard to get' approach is so much hooey, but there are elements that I tend to agree with, one of them being that it is far more effective to let the man do the pursuing. Sure, I'm a feminist and believe 'girls can do anything' and all that, but there have been several times in my life when I've gone after a guy I've been interested in and not once - not ONCE - has it been successful.

So after reading this book I realised that I'd broken all The Rules with Matt. I made myself available by instant messaging (too casual, too little effort required by the guy to make contact) and I'd accepted a last minute invitation (showing I had nothing better to do). And since I hadn't heard from him, I wondered if I'd come across too eager. Not good, instigate damage control procedures immediately!

Step 1: To make myself a touch more unavailable. I stopped logging into instant messenger every time I was online. I signed in just once last week and let him initiate a chat which I kept fairly short.

Step 2: To move things from IM to the phone. I knew that Matt went to see The Da Vinci Code on Thursday, so I decided I'd send him an easy breezy text to find out what he thought of it, and see if that might spark something. I waited until early Saturday afternoon and sent it off and it had exactly the desired response - he told me what he thought of the movie (okay, not bad but not that great either) and then asked me if I wanted to watch a DVD that night. Success!

How about that, sometimes over-thinking a thing actually works! Okay, so it's still totally against The Rules to accept a last minute date, but frankly, I was okay with that. There was no way I was going to turn down a Saturday night date with a guy I know I like (So there, Ellen & Sherrie!)

He said he'd bring a DVD round at 8pm, I said I'd get us some Thai takeaways to eat. I was excited!

As the evening rolled around I gave my house a jolly good tidy up and hid all romantic self help books from sight. Had a good long shower, shaved my legs (in direct contradiction of Charming But Single's Single Girl's Law #1) and generally got myself all sexy'd up (in a staying at home, watching DVDs kind of way - not too dressy). I was looking forward to this!

I think the single male population of NZ detected this as well. As I was getting ready I got a bunch of texts from two different guys - Angel Boy was one, telling me about his day and a last minute invitation to meet for drinks from Paul, this random online guy who texts or calls occasionally and then disappears for a while. He's done the last minute invite thing before and with him I'm quite good at playing by The Rules. I reply back, 'sorry, got plans. Haven't you learned? I'm a busy girl, gotta book ahead". Pretty blunt, but you can do that when you don't really care about the outcome. We agree to meet up for drinks on Tuesday.

8pm rolls around and I'm quietly fizzing with excitement. Finally I hear him pull up and knock at the door and I welcome him inside. He's still cute - in fact he's shaved off the touch of a goatee he had last week which makes him look even better in my eyes (I'm not big on facial hair).

We settle down with our Thai food and end up watching the movies that are playing on TV. Quite a selection in fact, we watch Minority Report (Oh Tom, why did you have to jump the couch?), Say It Isn't So (lame Heather Graham/Chris Klein number) and The Rainmaker (Matt Damon circa 1997, nice).

It was such a nice night. Matt's just easy to be with, I felt so comfortable with him, just totally at ease (very unusual for me with a guy). He won some good brownie points too by letting my cat curl up on him - love me, love my cat!

So we were watching all these movies (and it started getting pretty late), and as nice as it was, I wonderd if/when he was going to make a move. We'd been sitting casually side by side all night, and like I said - it was getting late. Well, my cat helped move things along. (Okay, that sounds weird - better explain fast). I reached for my drink suddenly which startled her and made her jump off him. He made a comment about how he'd get cold now (still pretty icy here in Auckland, even with the heater on at full blast) and how I'd better take her place, so - this is embarrassing - I jokily pretended to curl up on his lap and purr (I told you I'm a dork). Not the smoothest move, for sure, but he took it as a good sign and moved in to kiss me. Several minutes of passionate kissing ensued (cheers! applause from the audience! finally!) and significant plot points in The Rainmaker passed us by unnoticed. We came up for air, watched the end of the movie and finally he dragged himself off home at about 2.30am with one last kiss for the road.

And I slunk upstairs and went happily to sleep, content with the knowledge that at last I'd had that ever elusive thing, a successful second date!


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