Tuesday, February 27, 2007

And the contact details go to…

So you’ll recall that after my spontaneous night of speed dating I posted straight away to see if my instincts are any good and if I could predict who would be interested in me.

Seems like my elite status got to my head, because my strike rate? A dismal 50%. I might as well have flipped a coin.

Now, I didn't even tell you about the guys I said no to yet... You see Auckland, even though it has about a million people living here, it is small. And the population of eligible single men - smaller still (we are officially in the midst of a man drought).

I walked into the room where the event was being held, coolly cast my gaze around the room to scope the talent only to immediately register that amongst the 'sexy singles' was a guy who'd been trying to engage me in online chat for ages through various dating sites (I just wasn't interested) and another guy I'd been on one date with (and ruled out due to total lack of chemistry). Ye gods, has it come to this?

I pretty much decided - even before getting my results - that I would not want to go speed dating again (even for free).

Regardless, I got my matches by email the next day, and although they told me I had retained my elite status (phew!), I only had two matches (meaning we each were given the other's contact details).

Bachelor #1 declined me, which surprised me a little but bothered me not one bit. He was nice, but a little bland. Bachelor #3, the hottest man of the night, also totally rejected me. And while that’s a little rough on the ego, I can handle it. (I found out after the event he was a smoker anyway, which is pretty much a deal breaker for me…)

Of course Bachelor #4, the one I regretted saying yes to, said yes to me. I entered his cellphone number into my phone so I could screen him if he called – but the sneaky devil called from another number and caught me unawares. Which led to me agreeing to go to dinner with him, when really I didn’t want to…

Bachelor #2, cool film guy, also said yes and got in touch by text. Now him, I was actually glad to hear from. He was fun and interesting to talk to, and while I don’t think I’m attracted to him, I could see us having fun hanging out. So we’re meant to be doing something this week.

The further through the weekend I got, the more I regretted agreeing to dinner with Bachelor #4. I just couldn't get enthusiastic. Normally I'd give most anyone a chance, but with Cute Canadian on the scene I didn't really see the point.

Of course it would have been so much easier if I’d figured this all out on the night and just said no then - but since I didn't, now I had to rebuff him. I’d kind of resigned myself to just going to dinner and then giving him the ‘I don't think we're compatible’ speech, but after a great date with the Canadian (more on which to come in a forthcoming post) I realised I didn't want to do it. And also that it wasn’t fair to him to force myself to go out with him. He was a nice guy even if he didn’t do it for me – he deserves some respect.

So Sunday evening, I called his cellphone to cancel. Now, I am so not good at ‘difficult conversations’, which I absolutely class this as. So to actually pull this off, I had to sit down with a list of bullet points in front of me to cover off. I mentally rehearsed it a couple of times, and then – finally – dialled his number (accompanied by silent prayers of ‘don’t pick up, don’t pick up, please don’t let him pick up’). And whaddaya know - the dating angels smiled on me and actually let it go through to voicemail. (Halleluja!)

I told him I was sorry but I had to cancel dinner because I’d started seeing someone recently and over the weekend it had gotten a little more serious. That I was sorry to stuff him around, but I didn’t think it was fair to waste his time. I think I did a good enough of a job that he wouldn’t feel too bad about it, which was my aim. I felt like an idiot telling him about things ‘getting more serious’, but lordy, the sweet relief when I hung up! (And I was proud of myself for not sending it to him in a text, something I seriously considered...)

In conclusion, I am so over speed dating...


At 1 March 2007 at 3:49 AM, Blogger kittenpower said...

Don't you hate it when people catch you so far off guard with a phone call (or whatever), you go blank and will agree to anything to end the akward call? Then you realize what you've done and it's so much worse than what you've just put off by agreeing?

That bachelor #4 was sneaky, sneaky!

At 4 March 2007 at 7:16 PM, Blogger acaligurl said...

here's to bachelor #2!!
and bach #4 must have known something to use another number!

At 5 March 2007 at 10:56 AM, Blogger Buffy said...

Blind dates of any length or formality scare me to death. Always have.

At 6 March 2007 at 12:18 PM, Anonymous Sex & Moxie said...

I think speeddatign is a great way to flex the flirting muscles but a terrible way to try and connect with someone. To much pressure

At 7 March 2007 at 11:09 PM, Blogger brunette babe said...

I agree with you all!

Bachelor #4 was indeed very sneaky, kittenpower! Remind me never to answer calls from unknown numbers again...

Blind dates, buffy? Horrifying. And slightly degrading. (Although I still encourage all my friends to hook me up with any faintly decent man they know...)

sex & moxie, I think I flunked the flirting test. What can I say, sometimes I just have no game...

acaligurl - drinks with bachelor #2 tomorrow night! We'll see how that goes


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